Expoyment…
Expoyment: v. cont. Experienced Enjoyment. Enjoyment of experiencing something that, previously, was not found to be enjoyable.
Once Upon A Time, in a land Down Under, an 18-year-old guy, fresh out of high-school, applied to work at his former high-school, carrying on with the job he had been doing there as a student volunteer for three years previous. He discovered, after signing his year-long work contract, that part of his duties would involve taking classes in Audio-Visual skills. This turned out to be not a fun time at all, and contributed, in part, to the problems he faced in later life. At this time he formed the opinion that teaching was not for him and in the course of this actually became violently opposed to it on a personal level. He associated getting up in front of a class with pain, ridicule and embarassment. Whilst fully willing ot admit that others can do it, he was firmly convinced that he couldn’t. This turned against him, making it about his own failings, and this sense of failure characterised a large part of his life over the next few years.
Three years later, he took up education again, this time as a student again. Taking a course he had always dreamed of doing, learning things that had always been his passion. In this course he met an inspiring man, a man who showed him how much fun teaching can be; how much fun the teacher can make it for the students, whilst enjoying it him- or herself. A glimmer of the old compulsion started in him, but he supressed it. He was born into a family of educators, and about the only one among them who didn’t enjoy teaching. His experiences told him that he wasn’t a good teacher; so yes, that method may work for this good person, but it wouldn’t for him.
Then some of his new-found friends in the class began to struggle with the work or the concepts to be understood. And again the compulsion came up; that compulsion to impart knowledge, to help them… to teach. Slowly he took first one, then two on. Building up from humble beginnings — a word here or there, some help, a few examples — he eased himself back into teaching. Here were people of maturity, people who actually wanted — and were eager to — learn. Here, he felt safe. So he started taking study groups, and found himself greatly encouraged by his teachers.
Now, if you haven’t guessed, the boy in this little monologue is yours truly. I was out tonight, as usual, working and tutoring and helping where I could. People have been asking me lately why, exactly, I give up my own time to do it. And finally I realised: I enjoy it. I never used to. For me teaching was associated with some very painful memories, and in a way still is. But they’re no longer a source of inner, remembered shame. Now I use them to guide me. I… enjoy seeing the look on someone’s face as they grasp a difficult concept, hearing the sound of their voice as they feel it dawn on them. The awakening of yet another mind to new ways of thinking, to alternate paths. This, now, is why I would do it. If the offer was made to me, for this reason would I teach: Becuase I enjoy imparting knowledge.
I’m not pretending that there wouldn’t be hardship involved. I’m not pretending it would be easy. But, in the end, it is worth it. Helping others succeed is… pure expoyment.
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